


Felines and Flamethrowers

by Lieutenant_Lionheart95



Category: Rammstein, Steel Panther
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24727252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lieutenant_Lionheart95/pseuds/Lieutenant_Lionheart95
Summary: Two completely different, but equally loud, bands.One shared tour is a destiny that brings them together.Ten guys finding something that manages to unite them.Everything is possible and anything can happen. Lord have mercy.
Kudos: 4





	1. New Acquaintances and Guessing Games

**Author's Note:**

> A casual note, I'm a huge fan of both bands. I simply started to fantasize what could happen if they ever toured together.  
> Also, I need to apologize in advance!  
> I am able to use basic German, but it has been literally a decade since my last lessons, so there might be some mistakes.  
> I have tried my best, but if the mistakes are too serious, I will try my best to fix them.  
> Thank you for your patience to read this far.

Mrs. Saenz went to check on her husband and his bandmates after their regular boys' night out. She waited for a moment behind the door at their rehearsal place that he would come and open it.  
"Hey, babe. What are you doing here?", he asked when he opened the door.  
"I came to check on you and the boys", she smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
"We are just fine, still a bit hangover though, but..", he promised.  
"Ralph, remember that you are not twenty anymore", she remarked ironically.  
"Oh, I almost forgot. The kids wanted to make pizza yesterday evening and they made couple of extras for you boys", she remembered and handed the trays to him.  
"Jocelyn, you and the kids are life saviours, pizza is exactly what we need!", he laughed.  
"Tell the boys that I said hi", she smiled and since it was so early in the morning, she had to go back to home to get their kids ready for school.  
"Boys! The missus brought us pizza!", he woke his bandmates up after she had left and after a strong cup of coffee he answered the phone.  
"Hello, you called to the best party band there is, Michael Starr speaking", he answered.  
"Uh huh.. I understand.. I'll ask from the boys. I'll call you back in twenty minutes, okay? Boys? Do we want to get some warm up gigs for a little while? I guess it could be some nice change of scene", he suggested.  
"That does sound cool, we have been doing quite a lot club gigs lately", Satchel nodded.  
"So, a second question. Does anyone speak German?", Michael continued.  
"German? I mean, I think I know a few words here and there..", Stix assumed.  
"Why do you ask?", Lexxi wondered and Michael explained what he had been asked.  
"They had originally some French duo as a warm up show, but they had some other plans for this leg of the tour", he shrugged.  
"I think that would be cool. I mean, we have played with big guys like KISS, I'm sure it will be just fine", Satchel nodded.  
"Yeah, music is their thing too, right? Their accent just makes it sound much more angrier", Michael laughed and called back to their manager that they would take up on the offer.  
"I think I might have heard a song or two from them.. They really do sound quite angry.. Maybe it really is that accent..", Stix admitted.  
"What do you guys think they are like?", Lexxi wondered.  
"Hey, even if they have visited here before, they are still basically tourists from Europe! We should bring something for them as a gift when they arrive or something! Or at the very least we should meet them first!", Michael grinned after the phone call.  
And the boys decided to at least go and meet their new acquaintances. Their manager told which hotel they should be in when they had arrived.  
"This is it, guys. They should have arrived about an hour ago", Michael nodded when they found the right hotel. The boys checked from the concierge if they really were at the correct hotel.  
"Oh yes, they are in the penthouse suite, they arrived maybe an hour ago", he nodded.  
"A penthouse suite, nice!", Satchel grinned when they went to the closest elevator.  
"This is a pretty luxurious place, I really hope they won't throw televisions from the windows or something", Lexxi shrugged.  
"I don't think you can throw these modern flat screens like old style televisions since they are usually screwed to the wall", Stix pointed out.  
When they arrived to the penthouse suite's door, they listened for a moment. They heard some quiet conversation.  
"That accent sure does sound angry even when they are speaking with just normal tone of voice..", Michael whispered and the boys nodded, as he knocked on the door. There was a small pause in the conversation when they heard the knock and someone shouted..  
"Warten Sie eine Minute, bitte!"  
And after a moment the door was opened.  
"Richard, bitte, da Till ist nicht hier, du sprichst das beste Englisch!", the tall guy with glasses who had opened the door hollered to one of his comrades.  
"Stix, you assumed you know few words here and there", Satchel whispered to him.  
"I'm not completely sure, but I believe he said something along the lines that one of those other guys speaks better English since some third person isn't here at the moment", he guessed. Another guy did get up from the armchair he was sitting in, put his nail file in his vest's pocket and came to shake hands with them. Of course he had strong German accent, but other than that, he did spoke quite good English, though at first he did use some German words here and there.  
"Hallo, it's nice to meet you. Mein name ist Richard Z. Kruspe. Und du?", he asked after shaking Michael's hand.  
"Nice to meet you too, Richard. I'm Michael Starr. These are my bandmates, Satchel, Stix Zadinia and Lexxi Foxx", he introduced them.  
"Well, these are mein bandmates, Paul Landers, Flake Lorenz, Oliver Riedel und Christoph Schneider. Our singer, Till Lindemann, isn't hier at the moment, but he should come back soon. Come on in, bitte", Richard nodded after introducing his comrades.  
"So, you are going to be our warm up act, ja? We heard that we should get some other band for our US leg, since our earlier warm up act, Duo Jatekok, wasn't able to come after all", he said.  
"Yeah, we got the call earlier today. We thought that we would come to make acquaintance before the gigs", Michael explained. The other guys didn't talk too much, if they did, they mostly talked to each other. The boys managed to separate few easiest words here and there, but not much. Richard did most of the talking, while filing his nails as he spoke. Lexxi was impressed how perfect and stylish looking his nail polish was, few of the nails were bright red and the others were black.  
"Danke, I have had 26 years to practise", Richard laughed and slipped the file back in his pocket. At that same moment they heard how the key card clicked in the lock and the door opened.  
"Jungs, ich bin zurück! Hast du mich vermisst?", a deep voice called from the door.  
"That's Till", Richard explained and introduced the boys to him.  
"I hope I can still play guitar..", Satchel whispered, he was sure he had dislocated his shoulder when shaking hands with him.  
"That sure is a heck of a strong dude.. Just look at those muscles..", Stix nodded quietly.  
"So, we were just thinking.. Would you guys, like, wanna hang with us or something? We know this one cool bar that's open like until two in the morning and..", Michael asked.  
"Was sagst du, Jungs? Wir haben einen freien Abend", Richard asked from his comrades.  
"Oh ja, das ist okay für mich", Till nodded immediately. They talked for a moment in German again, but the others nodded it was okay to them too. Well, the others but Christoph, he still had his headphones on, he had taken them off just for a moment when Richard had introduced him.  
"Sheiße! Nicht noch einmal!", he huffed suddenly.  
"Christoph? Bist du in Ordnung?", Paul asked and lifted his brow a bit.  
"Ja, ich bin gerade in diesem verdammten Level gestorben", he nodded.  
"Oh, don't mind about him, he completely forgets about his age and plays video games when we have enough free time during the tour", Till laughed with his deep voice, he spoke a bit better English than Richard, though of course he had the strong accent too.  
"Oh, no worries, that's cool! I also play sometimes with my boys. I think I have their photo somewhere..", Michael nodded and went through his wallet where he had a photo of his kids.  
"You have nice looking kids, Michael. The oldest one looks a lot like you. They remind me a bit of my own..", Richard nodded and after a moment showed a photo from his phone.  
"These are my kids, Khira Li, Merlin and Maxime. Khira Li and Merlin are living on their own, Maxime lives with her mother, I see her when I'm not on tour", he explained.  
"We just refresh a bit and get ready to go, ja?", Till added and the boys sat on the couch waiting that they would be ready. Paul, Oliver and Flake were ready the fastest and also sat down to wait the other three and talked quietly with each other. They glanced at the boys every now and then, but didn't say a word, though Paul had a wide, bright grin on his face.  
"I would guess they are around our age.. Give or take maybe a couple of years..", Satchel whispered and the other three nodded to him.  
"Though I have to admit that they look very good to be in their fifties..", Lexxi added. After a few moments the others were also ready to leave.  
Before leaving they just checked that at least one of them had the key card with them so they could get back in the suite.  
"Ja, ich habe einen von ihnen", Flake nodded after checking his pockets one more time.  
"Flake usually is the one who has the keys if we are going somewhere", Richard explained.  
"So.. They don't talk English at all?", Michael asked quietly, referring to the other four.  
"Very little, occasionally, but usually Richard or I do the talking", Till shrugged.  
"We can talk a bit, ja, but not as fluently as they can", Paul nodded, but smiled brightly.  
"That's why they talk, und we just listen, unless we know exactly what to say", he added.  
"That accent sure is strong.. They sound kind of commanding and stern..", the boys thought.  
They talked for a moment in their own little groups until one of their phone started to ring.  
"Entschuldigen Sie für einen Moment, bitte, das ist meine Frau..", Christoph excused himself and answered.  
"Ulrike, meine liebling, wie gehts es dir? Mir geht es gut, ja. Wir gehen mit den Jungs aus. Sie wissen, wir haben eine freie Abend, bevor die Tour beginnt. Ja, ich werde mich erinnern, dass ich verheiratet bin.. Ich liebe dich, meine Engel. Gib den Jungs einen Küss von Papa, ja? Ich muss jetzt gehen, Schatz. Tschüss für heute!"  
"He has a wife and two young sons at home", Richard explained and lit his cigarette.  
"Some things are so much different in hier than at home in Germany", Paul pointed out soon, he was usually the one who tried to talk in English too as best as he could.  
"What do you mean?", Satchel wondered. They had visited Germany a few times too, but they had to admit that they had just stayed at their hotel and didn't leave to look around. To them it was weird to see teenagers still going out so late in the evening, that didn't happen so much at home.  
"Eh, maybe it's just because I'm so old already, though..", he laughed a bit.  
"Paul-chen, du bist erst 55, erinnerst du dich?", Oliver smirked ironically and twiddled a bit with his beard.  
"Did he really say he's 55?", Lexxi whispered to Stix, the numbers were easy enough to separate from their strong accent. To the boys most of them didn't look like they were in their fifties.  
"If you heard the same as I did, I guess he really did..", he nodded slowly.  
They noticed that their new acquaintances grinned at each other and whispered something to Till and Richard.  
"The boys want to suggest something when we get to that bar", Richard grinned.  
"Oh, okay. What is it?", Michael asked.  
"We could have a little game. If you can guess all of our ages correctly, you have three tries for each guy, we will pay the drinks. Otherwise you will pay your own stuff, okay?", Till asked.  
"We just have to guess all six correctly?", Satchel checked and they nodded approvingly.  
"That ain't gonna be easy.. Even if they are somewhere in their fifties, I think we have to guess their exact ages.. And they look a bit younger than what they probably are..", Stix whispered.  
"Well, we do know already that Paul is 55, right, though he surely doesn't look like it..", Lexxi shrugged, they had after all heard when Oliver mentioned it. Judging by the bright smile that rose on Paul's face as Richard whispered something to him, they had guessed the first one correctly.  
"Oh ja, das ist richtig! Und Vielen Dank für Ihre netten Worte! Ich hoffe du denkst ich bin ein bisschen jünger als mein Alter!", Paul laughed, his bright, wide grin rose all the way up to his eyes. All four of them looked as politely confused as they possibly could, he spoke so quickly with his strong accent that they weren't sure what he exactly had said, Stix managed to catch something like "thank you" or at least something close to that. Richard laughed a bit and lit another cigarette.  
"He said that you guessed correctly, thanked for your nice words and added that he hopes you think he's a bit younger than you thought", he said and dropped some ashes from his cigarette.  
"None of you doesn't look too much over fifty", he shrugged a bit.  
"That's very flattering to hear, danke schön", Till grinned and the others nodded in unison. All of them were truly flattered that they looked even at least a bit younger than their actual ages.  
"We will give you a couple of hints. All we will say is that Oliver is the youngest of us, do not let the beard fool you, Christoph and Flake share the same age and believe it or not, Till is the eldest", Richard advised when they went to sit around a table.  
"He mentioned earlier at the hotel that he has had 26 years to practise his manicure, right?", Satchel whispered and the boys nodded.  
"Remember that you can try three times, but at least one of those tries has to be correct", Till added. The boys nodded again and studied them for a moment.  
"He's in a good shape for his age to be in his fifties..", Michael admitted.  
"So, you guys are in this specific city for at least a couple of days, right?", he asked then.  
"Yes, we start the leg of the tour from here. It will take a couple of days to go the next place. Why do you ask?", Richard lifted his brow a bit.  
"I would like to invite you guys to have a dinner with us, my wife would love to have guests over. Maybe tomorrow evening, if you don't have something special planned already?", he asked. After discussing for a moment they nodded that it sounded nice.  
Even though the boys used their first wrong answer, they were still halfly correct, they just tried to combine the right age to a wrong guy.  
"We will accept the answer, you were technically right", Till nodded. They had guessed that Richard was 53, but they did got the age itself correct. They didn't have too many possibilities anymore, so their next guess was that if they got the age right, someone else had to be 53 then.  
"Since it isn't Richard, it can't be Till either, since he's supposed to be the eldest, and Paul is 55..", they whispered to each other.  
"I mean, it could be Oliver, they said he's the youngest", Stix nodded and scratched his neck.  
"But we have used one wrong answer already, and we are so close to get it right", Lexxi added.  
"Wait.. They mentioned that Christoph and Flake share the same age, right?", Michael remembered. They looked at them for a moment. Flake adjusted the glasses on the bridge of his nose a bit and Christoph was just checking his nails.  
"You almost had us there for a second! It has to be these two, right?", Satchel grinned.  
They just nodded, the second guess was correct. Also they got Richard's age correct too, he was just a year younger than them, turning 53 himself later during the summer.  
"Okay, only two are left.. Oliver must be younger than all of them, and Till has to be older than all of them..", they wondered.  
"That beard sure is cool looking.. It actually makes him look a bit older..", Stix admitted. When Oliver was checking something from his wallet, they happened to get a glimpse of his ID. They noticed that part where the year when he was born was marked, and it said 1971.  
"Dude, that beard of yours sure did fool us! You aren't even fifty yet?", they whistled. Richard translated to him what they had said, though he could have guessed it from the tone of their voices. He just smirked shyly and nodded. Now the boys just needed to guess Till's age.  
"So, he has to be at least a little bit older than 55..", Stix murmured quietly.  
"If he's gonna say he's sixty with a well trained body like that, I'm gonna eat my bandana..", Satchel nodded.  
"But he has piercings like a much younger person..", Lexxi pointed out. Till did had at least four piercings on his eyebrows, a small septum on his nose, there was also a place for a ring on his lower lip, and it at least looked like he used to have a piercing on his left cheek too, a bit above of the dimple.  
"And he is quite good looking for his age..", Michael admitted. They didn't want to guess that he was too old, since they didn't want to be rude. They thought for a moment, there wasn't too many possibilities anymore, he had to be over 55, but the boys didn't want to believe he could yet be sixty, so he had to be between the ages of 56 and 59, which was still hard enough to imagine.  
"We got five out of six correctly, and we can still use one wrong answer..", they thought.  
"Remember that I can understand basic English, and I can say that much that no, I'm not sixty yet", Till laughed.  
"I'll be right back, I need a smoke", Richard laughed too, took his cigarettes and went outside. Christoph, Oliver and Flake were mostly focused on talking with each other, Paul was listening if the boys would guess Till's age correctly too.  
"We will try our luck and say that you are 57?", Michael asked finally. Till just grinned and gave them slow claps.  
"Yes, you are correct, I turned 57 at the turn of the year", he nodded. When Richard came back from having his cigarette, Paul whispered something to him.  
"Well, we did promise that we will pay the drinks if you can guess our ages correctly, so..", he laughed.  
And so, the boys drank through the evening. They tried everything the bar had to offer and stayed until the closing time.


	2. The Guests Have Arrived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I have to apologize in advance if my German has some mistakes..

Sometime during the next morning, after Michael had woken up after his second horrible hangover of the week, he remembered he needed to let his wife know that they were going to have guests over at dinner.   
"Ralph, you really should warn me enough time beforehand!", his wife criticized him.  
"Kids, we are going to have guests over, go to clean your rooms!", she hurried their kids.  
"Mom, I just don't understand, why do you make us clean our rooms? The guests are not going to eat the dinner in there, right?", their son asked.  
"Honey, I can see you get your wit from your dad, but this is not a time for that", she said. They had just some short hours to get everything done in time.   
"It's always so weird when dad invites his friends over..", their daughter huffed.   
"Yeah, they meet so many different types of people, we can never be sure what kind of guys he invites..", her brother nodded. Of course they knew about the band and the fact that their dad became easily friends with other bands too, even if they were completely different than their own. Sure, it was kind of cool too, since just any kid couldn't say that their father was a rock star that hang around with other rock stars every now and then.   
"Do you think they are like those guys from Stone Sour?", she asked.   
"I mean, I guess there is a chance for that, but I'm not sure..", he said.   
And so, a couple of hours before the guests were supposed to come over, they were finally ready. Michael was also home by then and locked himself in the bathroom so he could get ready in peace. A little bit later, around half past six, the doorbell finally rang.   
"Junior, go to open the door!", Michael hollered to his son.   
"Hello?", the boy nodded shyly, he was just thirteen after all.   
"Guten Abend, junger Herr. Können wir reinkommen, ja?", they asked in unison.   
"Dad, I think your friends are here!", he shouted to Michael who came to the door too.   
"Oh hey, you guys came after all! For a moment I thought that I had given too unclear instructions of how to get here! Please, come on in!", he nodded.   
"We wanted to be gentlemen, so we brought a little something for the lady of the house", Richard grinned. Michael noticed it, Christoph and Paul were holding a huge bouquet of flowers.  
"She's in the kitchen.. Jocey! Can you come here for a moment?", he asked.   
"This is my wife Jocelyn. Jocey, these are the guys I told you about", Michael nodded.   
"Hello, it's nice to meet you", she smiled.   
"Flowers for the lady", they nodded after introducing themselves and handed the bouquet to her. Their kids, Ralph Jr., Samantha and Frank, were peeking at them behind the wall. They were always a bit shy at first when Michael brought his acquaintances from other bands to their home.  
"Kids, come on and say hi!", he encouraged them. Being the eldest of the siblings, Ralph Jr. was the first to go a bit closer.   
"I-I'm Ralphie, these are my siblings, Sammy and Frankie", he introduced them. They just smiled and introduced themselves too.   
"Ralphie, are you okay?", Sammy asked when he held his arm after shaking hands with them.  
"Yeah, I'm fine.. He's just really strong..", he nodded, gesturing towards Till, of course.   
Then she turned to look at Christoph, his name sounded really familiar to her.   
"Kristoff? Like the hero in Frozen?", she asked, forgetting her earlier shyness, took his hand and pulled him towards her room. Christoph panicked a bit 'cause of it and looked at his bandmates, who were trying their best to stifle their laughter.   
"Sie fragte ob dein Name der gleiche sei wie der des Helden im Die Eiskönigin!", they grinned, Richard and Till had understood enough what she had said.   
"Oh, Die Eiskönigin! Es tut mir leid, nein, ich bin Christoph, nicht Kristoff", he explained. The name was almost the same, he did admit that, but it was still different. He was a father of two little boys, who liked video games like he did, so he didn't need to think about Disney princesses. Sure, he did recognize most of the classics, and that was more than enough for Sammy, though she didn't understand a word what he said, and he only understood some bits and pieces here and there. And so, Sammy gestured towards her dolls, posters and movies and listened carefully when Christoph told her what was the German counterpart of the stories she knew. Of course she had most of the classics, and some others too, so there was a lot of new words she would be learning.   
"Sorry about that, she loves her princess stuff and his name happens to be really close to that character's name", Michael shrugged. The others just grinned that it was okay, Christoph would be just fine.   
"Oh ja, das ist das Schneewittchen!", he said, of course they started from the beginning.  
"Und die Aschenputtel, und Alice im Wunderland.. Die Schlafende Schönheit.. Das Dschungelbuch.. Die Aristokaten.. Der Fuchs und der Hund.. Die kleine Meerjungfrau.. Die Schöne und das Biest.. Der König der Löwen.. Der Glöckner von Notre Dame.. Die Prinzessin und der Frosch.. Und Die Eiskönigin..", they heard him explaining to her.  
"I think Christoph and your daughter can understand each other just fine", Till nodded.  
"Sammy, come and help me set the table!", Jocelyn called her.  
"I'm coming, mom!", she answered.   
Since Ralphie was so used to see that his dad was full of tattoos, he thought it was completely normal that guys his age were also full of tattoos, but only Paul and Flake had any, and they were kind of small too. Flake had just a simple anchor on his arm and Paul had three stylized suns, one on his shoulder, second on his arm and the third around his neck.   
"We have thought we would get our children's names tattooed like that", Till and Richard nodded, Michael had his kids's names and birthdays tattooed on one of his arms.   
"But I'm always using long sleeved shirts, at least most of the time, so they would always be covered up", Richard shrugged.   
"And my daughters think it would be too embarassing if their dad has their names tattooed on his skin", Till nodded.   
"Remember that your ex-girlfriend tattooed your whole face on her arm", Richard pointed out.   
"Yeah, but it's a different thing. Sure, she can still say that "I used to date Till Lindemann of Rammstein", but other than that, she's just a fan among the others", he shrugged too.   
Frankie, being the youngest of the siblings, was peeking at them from behind his brother's back. Alongside of Michael's tattoos, they were also so used to see his long hair, that it was a bit weird to them to see shorter styles too.   
"His hair looks funny", he said innocently, after looking at especially Paul's hair for a moment.   
"Frankie, don't be rude", Ralphie hushed his little brother. Paul had noticed that they were talking about him and lifted his brow a bit. He didn't speak as fluent English as Richard and Till, but he did understand some basics here and there.   
"Oh, you mean this?", he asked slowly, and shuffled his hand through his very short hair. Frankie just nodded, still being so innocent.  
"Do you want to know why it is so short?", Paul continued, though he had to think for a moment how to say it correctly.   
"Well, we have a lot of fire at the stage. Even my guitar, and Richard's too, spews out fire. And more than once, I have almost.. Wait, how do you say it again..", he started.   
"Richard? Wie kann ich sagen dass diese Feuerstunts mir fast die Haare verbrannt haben?", he asked.   
"That those fire stunts have almost burned your hair?", Richard helped him and he nodded.  
"Oh ja, das ist richtig, danke! So, that's why I have hair this short, I don't want to burn it again", he laughed ironically.   
"Dad? You don't use fire at the stage, right?", Frankie asked a bit timidly.  
"No, we just use bright flashing lights, and some smoke machines", he said.   
"But you look like the monk from Robin Hood", the boy continued, still so innocently.  
"It's funny that you said it, we actually have a music video where we act as monks, we have the robes and a Bible and everything", he nodded. Paul tried his best, though Richard was helping him every now and then.   
"Oh, we almost forgot, we brought you something else too! ", Till remembered suddenly and went to get something from the hallway where they had left their jackets.   
"It's a tradition to bring gifts to the household where we are visiting for the first time", Richard explained. Till came back with two packages.   
"This is for the kids", he said and gave a bit smaller package to Ralphie. Sammy and Jocelyn came from the kitchen to look what was going on.   
"Well, what do you say, kids?", Michael asked.   
"Thank you!", all three of them answered, though Jocelyn seized the package, full of donuts, cupcakes and other sweets, they had to eat the actual food first before they could have the dessert.  
"And this is for the lord and the lady of the house. It's an authentic German dessert, and one of our personal favorites, we were very lucky that we managed to find it here", he continued and gave the bigger package to Jocelyn's other hand.   
"No fair, that's a full cake!", Sammy and Frankie huffed when they noticed what was in it.  
"Shut up you two, we got our own, and it was a really nice gesture", Ralphie said to them.  
"That's because it's an adult's only cake, you don't have enough age yet to taste it, dear", Richard explained to them too.   
"How a cake can be adult's only?", Sammy asked innocently.   
"I think I know how, it's said here that this cake has liqueur in it", Ralphie suggested after reading the list of ingredients.   
"Liqueur in a cake? That sounds good to me!", Michael laughed.   
"You didn't have to, that bouquet of flowers was more than enough!", Jocelyn blushed a bit.  
"Oh, we know, but we wanted to be gentlemen", they smirked.


	3. The Wish of a Young Boy

A little bit later.. After every dish that Jocelyn had made was empty, Richard got up from the table.  
"Thank you, Frau Starr, that was a great dinner. Now please excuse me, I'll go outside for a moment, I have my unhealthy needs to fulfill", he nodded and took his cigarettes from his vest's chest pocket, he knew that it would have been very impolite to smoke inside.  
"It was my pleasure. And it's Saenz, Starr is his stage name", she smiled.  
"Dad, you promised to me that now that I'm thirteen, I'm old enough to play harder video games together with you", Ralphie remembered.  
"Video games? Christoph likes to play them too. If it's okay to your parents, maybe he could play something with you", Till suggested. It was fine to Michael and Jocelyn, if it was fine to him too. Like Paul, Christoph did speak little bit English, though he used German much more willingly.  
"Well, I guess I could play a game or two..", he nodded slowly and Ralphie hurried to show his games to him.  
"I usually play racing games or something like that, but dad has said that now that I'm older, I can play some shooting games, if I play them with an adult", he explained.  
"That sounds logical", Christoph nodded and looked through his game collection. Then he grinned widely, his long fingers taking one of the cases from the shelf.  
"Do you know how to play this one?", he asked and showed it to Ralphie, who was setting the consol ready to play.  
"I'm not very good yet, but I have tried, with Uncle Russ and Uncle Darren", he nodded.  
"You see, this is my favorite game. The other guys even call me "Doom" because of it", he said.  
"Oh, this might take a while, Christoph noticed that your boy has the game Doom", Richard grinned when he came back from having his cigarette. 

The evening went well. The guys were sitting in the living room while talking, Christoph was more than happy to play games with Ralphie as Jocelyn went to put the younger kids to bed.  
"Well, we did mention that Christoph completely forgets about his age if he gets to play video games", Till laughed.  
Though Christoph of course mastered his favorite game, he let Ralphie win too every once in a while.  
"I had so much fun!", the boy laughed when they finally stopped playing.  
"I had fun too, since my own boys are still too young to play games like this", he smiled.  
"Can we play again sometime, mister Schneider?", Ralphie asked, he just instinctively called him "mister".  
"I hope so, that would be very nice. And you may call me Doom too", he grinned. To a thirteen year old boy, it was of course a huge honor.  
"Es sieht so aus als hättest du einen neuen Freund", they smirked.  
"Oh ja, er ist ein sehr guter Junge", he nodded and ruffled his hair a bit.  
"This has been a very lovely evening, and we are very grateful for your hospitality, but now we must go, we have a lot of work to do starting from tomorrow", Till nodded.  
"Please, do come again, if you just can find enough time", Jocelyn smiled.  
"That would be very nice, thank you for the invitation", they nodded in unison.  
"Well, they were nice. Actually a quite different than I first thought", Jocelyn said when the guys had left.  
"Did you think I only hang around with guys like from Stone Sour?", Michael laughed ironically. 

Just because the next day was Saturday, Michael agreed to take Ralphie with him since he didn't have to go to school.  
"Just remember to not to bother them, the tour starts tonight, they have a lot of things to do before the evening", he reminded when they went to the hotel.  
"Yeah, I just wanna see them one more time, you guys leave after tonight's gig. I just want to ask could I get a photo taken with them, it would be so cool to show to my friends at school", Ralphie nodded.  
"Well, I guess you can at least ask", Michael admitted. This time Paul was the one who opened to door for them, a wide bright smile on his lips.  
"Hallo, guys! Well, this is a bit awkward.. Neither Richard or Till are here at the moment.. I'll try to speak as well as I can without them.. Come on in, bitte", he nodded. Michael and Ralphie just shrugged at each other, they thought he could speak just fine, even if the strong accent did mess up some of the words every now and then.  
"Oh, that's okay. Can I ask where they are then?", Michael asked as they sat on the couch.  
"They went to check out the gym the hotel has to offer. Richard likes to keep himself in shape, especially during the tour, and Till is a former swimmer, if he just has a chance, he will swim for at least an hour. I swear, that man is basically part fish, part human, haha!", he explained. Oliver and Flake lifted their gazes from the cards they were playing and waved at them a bit, they mostly just listened but didn't talk that much.  
"Christoph, dein kleiner Freund ist da!", they did however holler to him. Christoph came out from other room after hearing them, grinned when he saw them sitting on the couch and ruffled Ralphie's hair a bit.  
"It's nice to see you again! Though I'm sorry, I don't have enough time to play with you..", he apologized.  
"Oh, it's okay. I mostly wanted to ask could I get a photo taken with you guys? I would like to show it to my friends at school. They know that dad knows a lot of people as a musician and..", he said.  
"It's fine with us, if you can wait that Till and Richard come back too, so you could get a photo with all of us at the same time", they nodded.  
"Dad, please? Can we wait that much?", Ralphie pleaded.  
"I guess it's okay, if it doesn't take too long.. I need to go to rehearsals with the boys and get ready for the evening too, remember..", Michael promised that they would wait a little bit more.  
"They should be here soon, they have been out about an hour already", Paul nodded.  
After little bit more waiting they finally did come back to the room and noticed the boys too. Paul immediately explained to them that Ralphie wished to have a photo taken with them. They nodded that it was okay, they just needed to get a bit more freshen up first.  
"This is actually quite rare from Till. Even after almost three decades, he's still a bit camera shy. He usually needs just the perfect mood where he can have his photo taken", Richard whispered.  
"Well, I guess we came by just at the right moment then", Michael laughed. And so, the boys got ready enough that they could take the photo with Ralphie.  
"This is so cool, my friends are gonna be so jealous!", he got enthusiastic.  
"Our children aren't that enthusiastic, even though most of them are already adults by now, your energy about this is a nice variation", they grinned.  
"Just any kid my age can't exactly have this opportunity like I do", Ralphie shrugged.  
"We'll take those couple of photos so you can choose your favorite, then we need to get going, before I'm late from my own rehearsals", Michael nodded and took a few photos of them.  
After that they left so the guys could get completely ready in peace. Ralphie chose his favorite from the photos and Michael sent it to Jocelyn, she managed their personal social medias, he took care of the band's stuff.  
"What do I write to the caption?", she asked.  
"My boy meeting the German giants of Rammstein", or something like that", he suggested. There was still a lot of to do before the first gig of the tour would start that evening.  
"Aw man!", Ralphie huffed suddenly.  
"What is it?", Michael wondered.  
"I was so focused on taking that photo that I forgot to ask for their autographs..", he sighed.  
"Well, me and the boys are seeing them again anyway later in the evening, I could ask them for you, I'm sure they will understand", he promised.  
"Thanks dad, you are the best!", Ralphie grinned.


	4. Getting Ready for the Show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, sincere apologies about possibly screwed up German.  
> I tried my best, but the fact that German is technically my fourth language may cause some mistakes here and there.

Later in the evening.. Both of the bands had their own dressing rooms so they could get ready in peace, but also a shared room where all of them could hang together before the show would start.  
"These guys sure have a lot of stuff with them.. Just look at those crew members running around with their tasks..", Satchel whistled while tuning his guitar. Most of the crew members they saw were getting the stage set up ready, everything was planned to work perfectly, some of them were just doing some odd jobs here and there. They on the other hand had much less crew with them, just a few guys to take care of their instruments and a couple of more who were more focused on taking care of the merch stand. They weren't even in a hurry yet, the doors wouldn't open for at least forty minutes.   
"Uh, excuse me?", one of their crew members, a young guy maybe in his mid-twenties, asked suddenly. They had few of them who spoke more English than German so they could communicate more easier.   
"I just wanted to ask does anyone of you have any cigarettes? Mister Kruspe really needs his cigarette and we already send one of our guys to get him some, but he needs it now", he explained.  
"I think I have some, just a moment", Lexxi nodded and went to check his bag. He smoked occasionally, though not too often, but he usually had at least a couple of cigarettes with him.  
"Yeah, here you go", he nodded and gave the cigarette to him.   
"Thanks", the guy nodded and hurried back to their dressing room. They even heard as Richard was shouting that he needed his cigarette soon before the gig would start.   
"You know very well what happened when a certain German lost his patience!", he shouted.  
"Er war eigentlich ein Österreicher, erinnerst du dich?", they heard Flake's voice correct him. However Richard did got a bit calmer when he finally got his cigarette.   
"I wouldn't want to get on his bad side..", Stix whistled and the guys nodded.   
"I would't want to get on anyone of theirs' bad side to be honest.. They got much more muscles and probably more brain cells too than we combined..", Michael shrugged ironically.  
"I'll need my occasional smoke too so I can get into the mood, I'll be back soon", Lexxi added and lifted the cigarette on his lips. Unlike Richard, he didn't smoke inside, mostly because they used so much hairspray in their dressing room which naturally was highly flammable stuff.  
"Dude, you promised to Ralphie that you ask their autographs for him", Satchel reminded.  
"Oh right, I thought I was forgetting something!", Michael remembered it too when he said it. He got a pen and a piece of paper with him and went to knock on their dressing room door.  
"Guys? It's me, Michael! Can I come in for a moment? I need to ask you something", he asked and Oliver came to open the door for him. He was dressed in black lace literally from head to toes, combined with black pants, combat boots and pilot styled shades, just his beard was left outside of the lace hood that covered his face.   
"And I thought that we dressed in a peculiar way..", Michael thought when he noticed it.   
"Yeah, totally.. I really would like to have a word with the person who takes care of their costumes..", he continued to himself when he happen to glance at Flake, who had a golden suit on, combined with glittery pilot's cap, shiny red boots, glasses with dark lenses and black leather collar around his neck.   
"That suit has more glitter in it than my lipgloss..", Lexxi whistled.   
"His suit is cool looking too..", Satchel and Stix nodded when they noticed Till who was checking himself from the mirror. Similar to Flake, he also had a full set on, though even his boots were in the same pattern as the suit, a metallic greenish snake scale with a slight silvery tint and golden details.   
"Could you two help me a bit? We do have a costumier with us, but he happens to be the one who was sent to get cigarettes to Richard", he said after noticing them.  
"Oh, sure. What do we need to do?", they asked.   
"Not much, just help that jacket on me", he requested and gestured towards a long jacket from the same set he was already wearing that was dangling from a hanger. The boys just nodded, it sounded simple enough, but they received a surprise of a lifetime when they grabbed the jacket.  
"What the.. Is this jacket made of metal or something?", Stix wondered.   
"It sure is heavy as fuck..", Satched nodded. Till just grinned at their reactions.   
"It weights around thirty kilos", he grinned.   
"You are fucking with us, right? A jacket that weights thirty kilos? Seriously?, they asked. Till just grinned again and stretched out his huge arms so they could get the jacket on his shoulders. While Satchel and Stix tried their best to help the jacket on him, Till was more focused on talking with Michael.  
"Autographs for your boy? Sure", he agreed immediately.  
"Can I ask where are the other three?", Lexxi asked suddenly.   
"Oh, Richard is probably still having his cigarette, Paul is more than likely with him and Christoph said he would go to get us something to drink before the show starts", he shrugged.   
A few moments later Christoph did come back to the dressing room with a bottle of alcohol and six shot glasses. The boys decided to wait for a few more minutes, since only Richard's and Paul's autographs were missing, and they weren't exactly in a hurry just yet. They didn't have to wait for long anymore.   
"Du bist ein verrückter Dummkopf, das weisst du, Reesh?", they heard Paul's voice from outside of the door.  
"Ja, aber du weisst, wir müssen zuerst ein bisschen üben, Paul-chen", Richard answered.  
"Werde nicht zu handlich, dafür bin ich noch nicht beinahe betrunken genug!", he laughed.  
"Wenn die Gitarren nicht im Weg wären, würde ich dir total in den Arsch greifen", he said. The boys took a wild guess they had just heard the words "guitars" and "ass" in the same sentence. Till, Christoph, Oliver and Flake just looked at each other like they knew already what was going on.   
"We sincerely hope you have nothing against sexual minorities", Till said.  
"Well, we personally like to bang hot chicks, but we also have enough balls to say if another guy is good looking and stuff.. Everyone should be free to love whoever they want.. We just didn't know that they are.. They hide it very well..", they promised, though a bit awkwardly at first.   
"Oh no no, they aren't actually a couple, they just like to pretend to be one, just for the fans!"   
Their awkward reaction made Till just roar with laughter that rose from somewhere deep in his gut.   
"Just as a fair warning though, they do kiss, quite a lot too", he continued.   
"Well, I honestly wasn't expecting that..", Satchel started, shuffling his hand through his hair, as the door opened and the guitar duo stumbled inside. Richard had his hands tightly around Paul's waist and he correspondingly had wrapped his arms around his neck.   
"The fans go crazy when they see that, they just practise a bit beforehand", Christoph smirked. Since they were so used to it already, Oliver and Flake simply ignored them completely.  
"Well, they really invest in that to make it look as natural as possible, that's for sure..", Stix and Lexxi admitted.   
"I mean, we do that too, occasionally.. Though only just on the cheeks..", Michael added.  
"That's a full on make out session if I have ever seen one..", the boys nodded.   
"Du bist verrückt, weisst du das?", Paul laughed when they finally stopped their "session".  
"Und ich liebe dich auch, mein Lieb", Richard just grinned and just as a one last thing, smacked his hand over Paul's ass when he turned his back at him and both of them laughed.   
"They do act very convincingly like they actually are a couple..", they had to admit.   
"They have had almost thirty years to literally polish up their act", the guys nodded.


End file.
